"LARCENY"

 "Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey - Small Batch 92 Proof"

I ain't really intah bourbon. Lookin around the local "Kroger", shit what is this?

Well it was $28!

$28!?

Niggah you sure you wannah do this?

Yah see that's thah way this ol Black sorry broke ass muh fuckah talks tah himself! Cause I'm broke bout ready tah buy ah bottle of $28 bourbon that ain't fittin in thah budget at thah fuck all! But still...

"Well, why were you looking at bourbon and you are a beer and tequila drinker?"

Glad you asked!

Tequila, sometimes thah shit hits ah gag reflex on my ol Black sorry ass! Somethin about thah smell, thah taste...

"Well you haven't had good tequila?"

Good, bad and everything in between! It's moldy, sweet, smells ah hint of sweated feet...Anyway, all them shits got that distinguishable, whatevah thah fuck it is, that sometimes makes ah niggah gag! Now, I still shoot thah shit! But damn ah ol Black niggah makes ah fucked up face while that shit's goin down! God damn! Anyway...

Beer prices gettin kindah out of ordah! Fuck that shit! Beer's for thah muh fuckin poor! Thee Holy fuck?!...

Bourbon and othah spirits still keepin it real!

Rich White muh fuckahs drink that bourbon shit! They ain't gonnah evah quit makin it! All thah shit US drinks, them evil muh fuckahs deem that shit pedestrian and shit, collateral when US finally start gettin in that evil elite ass! "We'll take away your beer! We'll make it Prohibition Two on your poor asses!" Really evil muh fuckahs!? Unless y'all stupid muh fuckahs gonnah stop THC on every level y'all might kindah succeed!? Anyway...

"Well what about wine? They drink that too!"

Correct! But wine for some damn reason fucks with my stomach somethin terrible, givin me dyspepsia like ah muh fuckah! Havin tah take four tablets of DGL just tah somewhat tame thah fuckin cuttin up gurglin beast! Shit! Fuck that shit! 

"Well, you see? You obviously haven't had good wine."

Good, bad and everything in between! Still catch the willies! Anyway...

(Peace! More to come...)