If you've nevah played football!
Undahstand some shit!
Thah worst thing invented in American football was artificial turf!
Ah Natural playin field is thah only way tah go! Thah shit gives! Unless yah playin in freezin or close tah freezin temperatures and shit!
Look at thah MCLs, ACLs. Achilles injuries, turf-toe... and we ain't got time for that concussion shit that's happenin on an alarmin level!
When yo ass is ah quick muh fuckah on these artificial surfaces, it actually nullifies yo quickness!
"Uh! Why?!"
Because on these unnatural surfaces, when yo muh fuckin ass tryin tah break some ankles, instead of puttin 5,000 per square inch of pressure on those cuts, that artificial surface bullshit multiplies it times one point five or two! Then these stupid non-American football playin muh fuckahs wonderin why thah run game isn't as effective as it was in thah muh fuckin past!? Uh, the lack of Natural surfaces!
Natural surfaces absorb US's energy produced! Unnatural surfaces resist that muh fuckin Human shit; ergo, thah plethora of American Football injuries have arisen! Anyway....
Shit! Yo warmin up ass gonnah check that ill ass shit before gametime! Surface stiff as shit! And I have tah do ah forty-five degree or ah ninety-degree cut?! Ain't gonnah happen today! My ass gonnah keep runnin out of bounds! Unless...shit...yo sorry ass wants ah blown knee, God forbid ah breakage and/or ah muh fuckin blown ankle tah boot!?
I mean ah flat Human tire for real!...
(Peace! More to come...)
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