Paperless Receipts?

 Naw muh fuckah don't send shit tah me! I would like that shit printed please! Now?

"Well, you have a phone? It will ping you almost immediately with the receipt?"

As you can see I don't carry my phone with me. And I abhor pinging, thank you.

Now can ah niggah get ah physical, paper receipt for this transaction?...

Fuck that shit!

Get tah thah next spot, tryin tah pay for some shit thah shit says,

"DECLINED"!

Why? Because yah didn't get a receipt in ordah tah check thah receipt that stated they charged yo ass $256.80 for thah case of beer instead of the $24 sale price plus taxes, $25.68! Believe me! That shit happened!

"Well how did that happen? I mean they have barcodes, scanners...?"

Who thah fuck you askin?! I don't really thah fuck know!

All I know, I went back tah that muh fuckah and got thah shit rectified quickly! Woman looked at the batch liquor receipts and said, "Here it is! Now, how did that happen? I remember you. You just bought a case of Yuengling that's all. Two and a half hundred for a case of America seems a little too steep for me! How about you? (She smiled. I smiled back) Now how in thah world did that happen? I'm sorry Hon? Do you have the debit card that you paid with, with you? Good. Let us credit that back on your card. I'm sure sorry about that!..." 

Now ah niggah gottah wait two tah five days for thah shit tah refund on debit! So thah second spot is definitely out today!

Ain't evah went thah fuck back!

But my ol Black sorry broke ass learned some invaluable lessons!

Pay attention when purchasing with credit or debit card! (I mean yo broke Black ass payin with cash and they say, "That'll be two-hundred and fifty-six dollars and eighty cents!" Yo broke ass be like, uh I'll go elsewhere! But thank you!)

Get ah paper receipt!

Check that bitch!

And life is good!...

(Peace! More to come...)