“Doctor Jenning’s office.”
“Meredith. This is
Sheila.”
“Whad’up, whad’up one of my favorite patients for real? Oh, don’t tell me. I’m getting the vibe. Somebody needs to reschedule. Hold a sec and let me get the other line.”
“Well, all right you ninny.”
Line two:
“Doctor Jennings office can you hold please?”
“Yes.”
Line one:
“Hey, girl. What you
know no good?”
“She left with him.”
“Well, it sounds like somebody needs to reschedule and
talk. Give me a few. Be right back at cha.”
“You’re still a ninny.”
“You know I’m your man.
Don’t even fake the funk. Hold on
you.”
Line two:
“I’m sorry this is Meredith. How can I assist you today? And what day and time is best for you? How about next Monday, November the eleventh,
at two o’clock? You’ve never been to
this office before? Okay. Your first name? Your last name? What kind of vision coverage do you
have? VSP? Yes we are a provider for that vision
insurance. Your date of birth? The last four digits of your social security
number? So we have you scheduled for
Monday, November eleventh at two o’clock.
No, thank you.”
Line one:
“So we talkin right?”
“Yes, what the hell do you think we are doing?
“Now, you know what I’m talkin bout. We talkin professionally or as friends to
the end?”
“Friends to the end man.
You know how we do it.”
“You know how we do it?
You need to quit it. So, what the
haps?”
“The what?”
“The skinny; the scenario; the story…well hell…give me the
damn goods.”
“Good Lord. You crack
me up sometime. A lot of times I don’t
know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Whew. Worse than I thought ‘cause if it takes you this long to tell me
what’s been goin on you must be two times pissed, for real.”
“I am. And I love you”
“And I Love you too.
Now get to it, will you?”
“Well, like I told you when I made the appointment last
week, she was leaving with this guy to go live in California. They’re just to Colorado and already she’s
callin me for fuckin money.”
“I wouldn’t send her a damn thang! Not shizit!
You got your big girl panties on now Sunshine! I wouldn’t send her the S, the H, the I, the
Z and I definitely wouldn’t send her the IT.
Kiss my black ass why don’t cha.”
“Now your ass is not even black. At the best it could be is light brown.”
“True dat. But that’s
beside the point. All I’m sayin is, yo
ass can’t be an absentee ruler and still tryin tah demand some taxes.”
“Hah! That’s a good
one. I’m going to remember that.”
“Damn straight. How
you goin tah be out of the house and I’m still on the hook takin care of your
grown actin ass?”
“And that’s what I told her…sort of. I told her, you are an independent dependent.”
“Preach it!”
“So she gets all mad and said, well I was going to tell you
we have been just living on waffles. So
I said to her, I hope you got some syrup.”
“Whah? Well look at
chew! There’s hope for you after all
Sunshine. “
“Shut up. You’re so
silly.”
“But that’s why you love me so very much.”
“That, and you don’t tell me what I want to hear.”
“Never! I’ll tell you
what. Let me schedule you for the last
appointment at six-thirty next Monday, the eleventh and we’ll talk some more?”
“I’d like that. I
Love you.”
“Bet. I Love you
too. And keep your head up. Cause you ain’t gonnah find nothing of worth
on the damn ground.”
“Bye weirdo.”
“And you know it.”
