I was searching, reaching, teaching myself how to think through this life. Trying to come up with a truth, a lifelong truth that would keep me steady. Keep me calm and productively seeking the truths of this world. I was inquisitive by nature. But something happened that fateful day, my Mother didn’t allow me to come back home after a miscue, not being able to make it again on my own, trying to run back to my Mother’s titty again. And my Mom’s last statement before the journey began, “No Singleton. We have our own life now. You are 37, it is time for you to start doing for yourself. You know what your Dad and I have taught you. Now it is time to implement that into your own life so our words will not be in vain. I love you dear heart but it is time,” as she kissed me on the cheek and shut the door. I turned away from the porch and looked at the oncoming stormy sky, and thought, how befitting…
Here I was 38 looking 40 dead in the ass. For real! But I could smile like a mah fuckah. Never had I compromised my integrity. Matthew 10:11-14 I always kept dear, my Moms words, the only words:
“And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, inquire whom in it is worthy and there abide till ye go thence. And when ye come into an house, salute it. And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.”
I did a lot of shakin. But my soul was at peace but still searching. I will always be searching in a peaceful way now. I had found the necessary pieces to the puzzle and it was time to start putting them together before my death came upon me. I still thought about death extensively, the horrible way people are dying and have died. Oh, I would hear people saying how lucky or fortunate a person was from not having the perspective lives of the befallen, whether it be severe poverty or the ones who had died tragically and mercilessly. I cried many of times of the souls that humans had an integral part of killing. Figuring everyone in humanity including myself was the genesis of the given persons plights. No one shouting loud enough for the society replete with absurd atrocities of people that humanity itself allowed to happen. Fearing death, and glad of the fact that they were still living ‘better them, than me’ being one of the many mores that seemed to me were inane.
As I walked, I thought about the time. In seven more days, I will turn 39. And in 365 days subsequently, I will turn 40. Five hundred days in total. One hundred and twenty-eight days I have been out amid the world, out on the street. Finding the truth. And the way it is going, I didn't believe in my soul that in 372 days I would obtain what I was out here searching for. But the voice had said five hundred days. And I knew the voice spoke truths. As I looked up at the gray sky, while snowflakes landed softly on my face.
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