I was running, as always, through the outside concourse that would lead to some kind of safety. Away from the South Tower. And just as in all the other episodes, there was a chunk of flesh landing around me, as I continued to run. The more I ran the more chunks started coming down. Now, raining flesh and warm moist blood. Looking down seeing nothing but red every where. Little pieces of flesh hanging on my blood soaked shirt, while my legs continued to pump hard, running away. And just before I hit those stairs, that would lead me to the outer street, a little safety, but it was a start...then waking up breathing hard. Heart rate way out of control.
I hate sleeping. Would stay up for days at a time because when sleep would overtake me, there were always those nightmares, like just before, I desperately wanted to avoid if not stop all together. But that latter wish was just that, a wish. Never to be granted. Ever. And that's why I wasn't really living at all. I am just here.
I often thought, since I was one of the few who survived, "Why me?" Why did I have a right to live and so many died on that fateful September eleventh day? I started understanding that maybe death does have its benefits. When one evades it, whatever the circumstance, Death makes one pay for taking away Death's deity-al nature, to also be able to give or to take life as necessary. If I would have died, I wouldn't be going through my certifiably diagnosed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Gravity and concrete plays havoc on the self sustaining human form from that height. People could believe what they wanted. I was a witness. And they're not going to show you what I witnessed on television, that reality was not an option to broadcast, ever. Not even on the Internet. All those films were seized, taken into federal custody as evidence, in a secured vault some place, where no one could leak not even one second of the over five-hundred-thousand minutes of footage seized.
I remembered just like it had just happened that day. The day I had been stuck in for nine years, eleven months, twenty-seven days, fourteen hours, thirty-eight minutes and thirty-two seconds.
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