I had been praying. The only prayer one should pray, for some forty days and forty nights. The Lord's Prayer, endless times throughout the day. Oft times while working the production line at the local car manufacturing plant where I was employed. I didn't have to go into a closet because my prayers were in secret. Praying in my mind, "Our Father, who art in heaven..." While the seemingly endless amount of parts rolled down the line to my station, my co-worker and I working in concert would have to assemble them, again and again until the ten hour shift was done. Then I had to get up and do it all over again the next day.
There was no way I could do this until my retirement age, even if I am 45 years old, 2o years more of this wasn't going to happen. Not doing this mindless, thankless, banal labor. A trained monkey could do it really. But the monkey would probably even quit after about fifteen minutes saying, "Let me go back to the trees. Chill out while eating my bananas. Cause this is bananas." So I prayed diligently in secret throughout the day.
But the voice wasn't heard until I had arrived home today. After taking a forty minute long shower, the first ten minutes of which was hot enough to probably boil an egg, the last thirty of which my hot water heater had long since given up its residual heat. The last ten of the thirty of the less than tepid minutes was of me, sitting on the tub's floor while the now cool water sprayed me with seasoned affection, baptizing me from the day.
I had turned the water off. Baby oiled my entire body, annointing and moisturizing my now thoroughly cleansed skin. Toweled off. Brushed my teeth two times. Rinsed my mouth and looked at myself in the medicine cabinet's mirror. Sad, withered eyes peering back at me. As I prayed in my mind. Finally I closed my eyes and opened them slowly. The same sad eyes and countenance were still looking back at me. I smiled, my sad smile at those sad eyes and said aloud, "It is finished." Gave my eyes one more chance to change. They didn't. They never did. I shook my head giving up for the night. I was tired and weary.
I walked to my bed, a welcomed sight for such an aging body. Pulled back the comforter and the sheet. And just before I was going to dive in and fall into a long awaited slumber, I knelt beside my bed, in my nakedness, and began to pray again. And when I had said the last of The Lord's Prayer ending with, "...For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen." That's when the voice filled my senses and the room.
"Are you ready our Son?" The voice asked.
"I don't know. I need to do this on my own," I said.
"You always have. And you always will. We are just here to guide you. Not hinder you. What you do with that guidance is your choice. You know that." The voice said.
"I don't know," I said again.
"Don't be scared our Son. It's way past the time. Don't fight it any longer. You know. You are ready. And you've been ready for a long time now," The voice said.
I began to weep. Tears coming down my face like a sault. Finally getting my composure back from the emotion washing over and rushing through me.
"Yes!" I said breaking down again in spastic weeping. And as in a last ditch effort before I totally lost control, I cried out unto the voice, "Yes! Yes! Dear Lord! I'm ready! I'm ready!"
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