Three shots Tequila
Two shots pickle juice (Claussen's if yah have it handy)
Two tablespoons fresh lime juice
One or two teaspoon(s) of "Tajin"
- Stir, drink at room temperature if it's cold outside.
Or
-Shake vigorously with a lot of ice in a shaker if it's warm outside.
Salute!...
(Peace! More to come...)
These sorry ass filthy elite muh fuckahs tryin to be
Our Father!?
Ridiculous!
Uhm!
Shiiiought!
But when muh fuckahs don't work!...
"An idle mind is a devil's workshop!"...
(Peace! More to come...)
We!
Are!
Going to
Die!
And before
US
Surely do?!
How can
I
Make this shit
Better for
US
Before
I
Go!?...
(Peace! More to come...
Find somethin on anothah one of US tah
Compliment!
Find fuckin somethin!
Shiiiought!
Niggahs can come up with all types of shit tah get themselves their ultimate pussy! Until another comes along!
But then...
Ask about US?!
They have not ah fuckin clue!
"I'm just tryin tah make it happen, son!"
Uhm!
Be complimentary!
Please?!
US fuckin needs it!....
(Peace! More to come...)
"Red Velvet Cupcakes with Buttercream Topping"
So I come into thah main office, Lana has these cupcakes.
You know me?!
How y'all doin? Good morning?!...
"Meredith! You want one of these?" Kristina asked.
Naw. I'm more of a savory person!
"Really!? Damn! These are some of my favorites!" Lana the office manager said...
Yah see thah muh fuckin difference in appoach!?
"Meredith. These are Lana's favorite cupcakes! Wouldn't you like one?"
And I would have said, even being a savory person,
Fuck yes! Let me see how delicious these muh fuckahs are!?
And they're goin tah be fuckin delicious! Even though my sorry ol Black broke ass thinks, "What's thah fuckin sugary fuss?!"
Because I'm savory!
Guaranteed
Cause that's what
US at thah very fuckin least fuckin
Deserve!...
(Peace! More to come...)
You can get pretty God damned silly with this writin bullshit!
Because!?..
Oh, come ohn naw?!
Okay!
Damn!
Because it's oft times thah truth
With
Un-EULA'd
Consequences!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Just ah history of
US stupid muh fuckahs!
That's all!
Shit tells
US what we're goin tah do
Before
US
Does it!
How thah fuck yah think that
Works?
And US is doin
It!
Shiiiought!
Cyclical!
That's all that
US
Are!
Uhm!
It's time for
US to
Break
The Perpetual Human
Cycle!
Our Battle cry:
"Up with THC! Down with TPHC!".
Corny!?
Fuck yes!
But thah shit would work!
Cause US!
Absolutely!
Positively!
Loves!
Corndogs!...
(Peace! More to come...)
I've told my wife,
"Listen man! I get in some bad shit!? Disfigured, paralyzed...invalid, where you have to wipe my ass aftah I've doodied?! (She laughed at that shit.)
You know me?!
I would loathe that!
Because yah took ah chance on ah Brothah and we were happy until this...
And I would hate tah see thah only woman that has taken ah real gamble on me..and have tah watch her...having tah wipe my ol Black broke sorry ass after soiling myself...!?
Come ohn naw!?
If yah evah loved an ol Black sorry broke ass like me?!
Don't know why tah this day!?
But I sho Love Yo ass fo rollin thah dice on my sorry broke ol Black ass!
And If I know You Love me!
Then You know I Love You!
Don't do that to me!
Make a promise to me?
Please?!
If I get tah that point!
Please!?
Let!
Me!
Go!"
"I promise Love! If...You get to that point? I will! Surely Love."
My niggah!
"I Love You Love!"
And I sho Love Yo fine ass too!
"Now yah bein silly?"
No! Really!
"I'm sorry Mister Man! Just my insecurities coming out."
You do understand We 're in this shit togethah?!
"Yes!".
'Til death do US part?'
"Fatherly!"
My niggah!...
(Peace! More to come...)
I haven't met ah real caring person with my ol Black sorry broke ass
Self
Without
Them being
Broken
Too!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Shiiiought!
I can get ah tainted blood transfusion
God damnit!
But fuck!
I sho in thah fuck need muh fuckin
Water!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Family!?
Shiiiought!
Muh fuckahs kill my ol Black sorry broke ass!
"Shit niggah! It's Sunday morning muh fuckah! Don't nobody wannah hear that noise!"
Well stop readin muh fuckah cause here ah niggah goes!...
Their sorry asses wannah sit up there aftah ah niggahs dead or some shit tah start fuckin carin bout ah muh fuckah!
Cryin and shit!?
Unh-unh!
Shutitthefuckup!
This posin and shit like yo sorry asses cared has gotten quite fuckin
Putrid!
Cut that shit out!
That muh fuckah been in this muh fuckah for four score!
One...Two...Three...Four score!
And yah ain't seen thah muh fuckah in ovah two score and ten of those muh fuckahs!
Shiiiought!
On thah real!
I thought thah muh fuckah was already
Dead!?...
(Peace! More to come...)
The longer my ol Black broke sorry ass lives,
The more I come to realize,
I inevitably pay for who
I am!
And,
When I close my eyes for the last time on this firmament,
I inevitably pay for who
I was!...
(Peace! More to come...)
So I'm researchin Activated Charcoal's benefits!
Then I run across some shit called:
trimethylaminuria (TMAU)!?
Thah Holy fuck!
Thah more common term bein
Fish Odor Syndrome!
What!?
Shiiiought!
Sonshines I am convinced thah older my ol Black sorry broke ass gets,
Thah more ignorant
I humbly become!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Real fuckin shit!
Love this shit!
Don't know why but thah muh fuckin movie spoke tah me for some damn reason!
Okay!
The date of thah release of:
"Emily The Criminal II"?!
S'il vous plait!?...
(Peace! More to come...)
I fuck around a lot in this writing shit!
But I'm just writin what's in my mind!
Some things good!
Some things bad!
But shit!
That's just thah nature of this evil
Beast of
Life!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Them camera people pannin around on thah crowd and shit!
My broke Black sorry ass searchin!
Shiiiought!
Man or woman!
I ain't seen ah muh fuckah in that crowd I could even call
Okay lookin!
Ninety-nine percent of those muh fuckahs are just fuckin
Busted!...
(Peace! More to come...)
I smiled all thah while watchin that shit!
Law Enforcement thinks thah majority of
US
Hate 'em!
I for one will tell yah Playahs and Playesses,
I like cops!
Shiiiought!
I mean what ah niggah goin tah do with these crazy muh fuckahs out here today?
Use harsh language!?
That shit don't work no fuckin mo!
Fuck that shit!
"Hello? 911 Operator?..."
I pay fuckin taxes!
And when my ol Black sorry broke ass got problems out here?
Shit yeah,
I'm callin thah muh fuckin
IMPD!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Thah fuck am I witnessin!?
In thah Beiden administration mind you!?
Thah fuck is wrong with
US!?
We have ugly ass fuckin
Aliens
Amongst
US and
Running US shit!?
And
US
Ain't said muh fuckin shit about thah
Shit!?
Uhm!...
(Peace! More to come...)
"Johnson & Johnson announced yesterday that it was buying the Pfizer division for 16.6 billion dollars."
'NY Times' 27Jun2006 business
Thee Holy Fuck!...
(Peace! More to come...)
"A1C! Down with Rybelsus!"
If I was "Queens of The Stone Age - No One Knows"!?
I'd sue that ass for copyright infringement!...
(Peace! More to come...)
I watch this shit repeatedly!
Don't know why?
But M.J. be rockin
She 'im shit!
But look at the
"Choir"!?
Shiiiought!
They got those muh fuckahs on thah muh fuckin
Cheap!...
(Peace! More to come...)
Well in thah locker room, that's where everything started fallin intah place with my sweatin and sometimes offensive smells.
Middle Linebacker "Randy Monger". We were all finished showerin and Randy had this "Speed Stick" deodorant, that he was not only puttin undah his pits but he was puttin thah shit near his unmentionables!
And I remembah some muh fuckah in thah lockah room askin him some shit like,
"The fuck you doin Randy!"
"Shit! Yo balls get funky!"
The light went on!
Back in thah day! I absolutely loved "Soft & Dri" deodorant! It had ah very pleasant floral...happy smell. But for some reason they changed thah formula and it didn't smell thah same aftah that. But I would put "Soft & Dri" undah my shaved pits, around my "Wahl"ed testicles and in between thah crack of my ass, put some on my feet and in between my toes and even put some on my chest!
It wasn't a harsh deodorant!
And it did thah work!
But that shit sho in thah Holy fuck smelled
Historic!...
Shiiiought!
Today?!
I use "Sure" or "Suave" near my unmentionables!...
But yah see where I'm goin with this missed opportunity
Shit?!...
(Peace! More to come...)
So, let me tell yah. Back in thah day muh fuckahs weren't partaking of this bullshit of a male shaving bodily hair. So, what I had tah do was, Under my pits I would shave with a "BIC".
My crotch and ass? I purchased a "Wahl" trimmer specifically for those unmentionables.
I mean damn! You can't be in high school, playin athletics, goin intah thah showah with othah muh fuckahs and some muh fuckin body ain't gonnah notice yo bare ass hairless crotch!
"Well they shouldn't be lookin!"
You funny!
Please remember high school!
And if you played sports,
Please remember high school athletics!?
Anyway,
So my crotch and thah crack of my ass would get thah muh fuckin
"Wahl" treatment every
Fourteen days or so!
I ain't bare!
So I don't wannah hear shit from you muh fuckahs!....
(Peace! More to come...)
