Most of this life, my Dear Sweet SistUS and BrothUS, as long as an old Black broke ass can remember, I've had these reoccurring feelings of fuckin doom! God damnit tah fuck! Sometimes it stays for ah long time then it jUSt keeps passin through. Sometimes thah muh fuckah be there one day, then show up thah next day and my ass be like, "Fuck!"! Has nevah stayed away long. VagarioUSly, "Just passing through."! But the feeling I have within me has always stayed ah miserable constant! Can't make ah muh fuckah undahstand except...think about a feeling all of the sudden of despair? Not really fight or flight but damn near close? But feeling helpless about it? Still able to function but now like a darkened cloud invisible tah everyone around you, but you see that muh fuckah as clear as fuck! Fuckin helpless? The genesis of this doomed environment and subsequent earth? Don't give ah fuck! The fuck's wrong with me?! What thah fuck happened!? Why am I the only one feeling this way and seein this fucked up shit so darkly?! Thah fuck! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Anyway....
Hence, I do believe has been thah genesis of my lifelong depression. Even when I was on Effexor XR, thah best shit ever (but I was still smokin weed) that muh fuckah didn't visit so often but that muh fuckah visited enough! Any-fuckin-time it damned well pleases throughout this muh fuckin life! Irritates thah dogshit fuck out of an old niggah now! God damnit tah fuck! Give an old broke ass ailin niggah ah break! Either, take my old broken down ass with yo evilly spirited ass thah next time yo funky behind is just passin through! Or leave me thah fuck alone! Until yo jank punk ass ready tah take an old ailin niggah with....
(Peace! More to come...)
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