Sunday, August 14, 2022

The Fucked Up Marketing Of "Crystal Pepsi" (In My Humble Opinion.)

 I remembah when the shit came out!

I loved the shit!

Then about two years latah couldn't find thah muh fuckin shit any-fuckin-where!?

Wondah why?

I'll tell yah why God damnit!

Muh fuckin stupid ass companies think their fuckin name rules supreme!

Yo fuckin name don't mean dick at thah onset!

Aftah some success yo ass can always rebrand thah shit and rename it, guess what?

"Crystal Pepsi"!

Shiiiought!

Then the branding slogan could have been, 

"'Pepsi' with less additives! Clearly the right alternative!"

Why thah Holy fuck yo sorry ass put thah name "Pepsi" any place on thah shit!

Just name it "Crystal"!?

Or like yo sorry ass did in 1999 and name thah shit "Sierra Mist" without the lemon-lime flavah!

Same company!

But different branding!

It wasn't thah muh fuckin look of no damn "Pepsi"!

Thah niggah look was not present absent ah caramel colah!

Why y'alls sorry asses gonnah confuse consumahs like that?!

Fuckin dumb corporate non-grassroots muh fuckahs!

Just fuckin stupid! Corporate executives just lookin at fuckin numbahs and shit!...

Or shit, I'll tell yah ah bettah branding marketing name!

Fucking brilliant in fact!

"White" made by "Pepsi"!

With thah muh fuckin branding slogan being:

"Pepsi has turned from being all Black to being all White!"...

Fuck it!

The shit would make some helluva waves in thah sorry ass worthless advertising, media and consumer industries!

Fo sho!...

(Peace! More to come...)

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